Not written in here for a while this is the first time i really had to write in it. 1st GW is 119, really determind to get to this as i feel so much better when im smaller. Trying to sort my life out at the moment moving out and getting a new job its so hard and quite scary finally i have to grow up, so this is a new me.

Well first time iv wrote in this, an think i ma going to write in it just to talk about what i feel and going through no matter who listens. It will be good just to write it out. Moved back home recently and its been one of the hardest things iv done ever i hate it, having my parents on my back constantly, in have no friends back home neither and none of my own rules i have no control what so ever at the moment in my life. I hate workinging its not what i wanna do at all an i have no friends. i wanna gain some control, i wanna look and feel amazing and i want people to look at me an think wow she is gorgeous, im si fat and so disgusting its untrue, i wanna feel loved again. we will see how it goes need to loose masses of weight im sick of it making me feel crap all the time and this is something i can control and something i can do about it and thats what i am going to do. hope all goes well i just wanna wake up loving my life and not living my life as though its a chore!